ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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