@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize