yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
