Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
