So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
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so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
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I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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