i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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