Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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