Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
