eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
