Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize
