so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
