i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Randomize
