A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize