Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
