I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
