scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
