States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Randomize