It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
