Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Randomize
