Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize