Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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