I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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