I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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