Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
