i'm signing you up for texting rehab
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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