Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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