I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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