ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
