The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
