Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
