Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
