let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
