if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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