I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
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You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
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There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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