Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize