She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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