he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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