I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
