Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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