The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
