Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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