how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
