Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
