He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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