Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
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