if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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