So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
