thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
