'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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