Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
