Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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