so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize