Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I supernannyed him into submission
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize