Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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