You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
