STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Randomize
