U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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