dude i'm inner monologue high
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Panties = found
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
